Risk-taking, trust, and serendipity are key ingredients of joy. Without risk, nothing new ever happens. Without trust, fear creeps in. Without serendipity, there are no surprises. - Rita Golden Gelman
I am working soon. After 6 ½ years of being inactive, I am finally working. I know, that long. I don’t know if I should be ashamed of the long idleness from the work force or I should be proud that I gave up my career to take care of dad. Honestly, most employers would rather hire a newly graduate compared to someone who hasn’t worked for many years. And nowadays, with the booming of culinary schools, the increasing number of culinary students graduating and the popularity of food blogging, competition is really tight and intense. And there were moments in my life where I just want to quit cooking as my occupation. And just a few weeks ago, I was thinking about my other interest and have a career change.
I am also moving to Cebu City (I was hoping I am moving to another country) where my job is located as an assistant culinary instructor/teacher. Teaching is not my dream job and it's probably the occupation I don’t even deserve. You need ample experience in order to teach culinary students to become professional cooks.
On top of that, I have reasons not to take this job.
First, my dentist removed my wisdom teeth (4 of them) many years ago and since I couldn’t tolerate the pain, she injected more anesthesia on the lower right area. For weeks that area including my upper right part of the tongue was numb and it became uncomfortable even if I continued taking B vitamins. Over the years, the numbness disappeared but that area of my tongue has never been the same. There were times that I eat my words and find it hard to pronounce the words clearly.
Second, I have temporomandibular joint disorder or TMJ syndrome. I was experiencing clicking, popping and locking in the mandibular area as well as tiredness and pain around my jaw and shoulders. After a scheduled x-ray by the dentist, she concluded that I have TMJ. My TMJ was corrected by wearing splints and braces for more than 2 years and maintenance by wearing 2 dental appliances for day and night. Although my TMJ has been rectified to a certain extent, it will never go back the way it was used to be. The temporamandibular joint is that small part our body that we never thought could make a difference in our well being. But it really does. TMJ not only affects you physically, it also affects you emotionally and mentally.
Okay, enough excuses...
I know that my minor liability is still not a good reason not to take this job. And for some people, they’re supportive enough to say that I am the right person for this profession.
When I started this blog last November 2008, I never thought that I could write my first blog post for a few people to read. Now, I have about 140 of them with more people reading. Not bad. It would probably backslide as I take the time off from blogging. Back in high school and college, writing an essay is one of my weaknesses. But lately, I love how a single word leaps out from a page and grasps your attention and that words developed into a sentence and into paragraphs could actually change a person’s life.
In two weeks, I am moving out of this house. I have no idea how long I will last in Cebu City but I’ll never know what I’m good at until I try and I’ll never know what I really want unless I take a risk. I hope someone out there understands how I feel and now that I’ve finally taken this daring step, I praying that everything would fall into place. And for the next few weeks, I may not be able to publish a post on my blog and I may not even have the time to read or comment on other people’s food blogs. But you can always send me an email to say hi or you could leave a message below or anywhere on the blog. That would be a great motivation and encouragement for me. And if you have any questions, feel free to write me.
Blogging didn’t change my life completely but through blogging I had the chance to get to know myself better. I’ve also met a lot of wonderful people and learned a lot from other food blogs. There are recipes that I would love to do (please check the recipe archives) when I have some free time and a project (you can even call it a revolution) about establishing good mood/healthy mind through whole foods and other ventures that I need to put on hold. And we really do have a bad mood epidemic all over the world. I love blogging and I’ll definitely miss everyone but I have to face more important things in my life right now. And hopefully this new chapter in my life will shed light and lead me into my divine destiny with confidence, boldness and courage.
Will you guys me miss? If you do, you can always contact me through email, facebook or twitter. Just be nice. In the meantime, please say a prayer for me.
Love and light,